The Conflict Within
Most of the time, I’m willing to play along. It feels harmless, or at least easier than stirring conflict. Why argue when you can just quietly do it and get it over with?
But when it happens again and again, when I’m asked to do things that feel illogical, inconvenient, or downright absurd, the act loses all meaning. What was once about honouring culture now feels like bending over backwards to appease fear.
And here’s what infuriates me most: when I ask for an explanation, all I get is:
“Otherwise, you’ll have bad luck.”
“We’ve just always been doing it.”
No deeper reasoning. No story, no symbolism to hold onto. Just empty superstition passed down like a hand-me-down garment that no longer fits, but no one dares to throw away.
Where Customs Come From
I get it. These traditions didn’t arise in a vacuum. For our grandparents’ generation, life was uncertain, fragile, and rituals provided a sense of safety. Rolling a pineapple into a new home, turning on every light, or stuffing red packets into drawers were ways of saying: please, let fortune be on our side this year.
But when those gestures calcify into rigid rules where when no one remembers the “why,” only the “must”.. they stop serving us. They become obligations rooted in fear rather than meaning.
Reframing With Intention
Here’s the part I don’t want to lose: traditions can still hold value, if we strip away the fear and reconnect with purpose.
So I’ve started to reframe them:
Pineapple rolling: a playful way to set intentions for abundance, instead of “luck insurance.”
Turning on all the lights: a symbolic act of bringing clarity and warmth into our new space, not a superstition.
Bringing rice, salt, and oil: a gesture of gratitude for nourishment and sufficiency, rather than warding off hunger spirits.
Boiling water or cooking something sweet: a mindful practice of creating comfort, not a checklist to avoid misfortune.
When viewed this way, the rituals stop infuriating me. They actually become anchors.. gentle reminders of what I want to embody in my home: abundance, clarity, gratitude, warmth.
A Living Tradition
So the question I keep coming back to is this:
Do traditions serve us, or do we serve them?
Healthy customs should carry meaning forward, not trap us in fear-based compliance. They should feel alive: adaptable, relevant, and grounded in purpose.
Maybe the real task of our generation isn’t to blindly obey or to abandon traditions altogether. It’s to reclaim them. To peel back the superstition, keep the symbolism, and let them evolve into rituals that feel intentional.
Because when traditions serve us, they become bridges between the past and the life we’re consciously creating today.
A Blessing for New Beginnings
When I step into my new home, I don’t want to just roll a pineapple or boil water because someone said I “must.”
Instead, I’ll pause at the doorway and say something like:
“May this space be filled with peace, love, and safety. May it hold us steady in hard times, and overflow with joy in the good ones. May every corner remind us that abundance isn’t luck.. it’s the life we choose to build together.”