Because empathy without boundaries is still harm.
Let’s clear something up. “Holding space” is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot in healing circles. But over time, it’s become one of those buzzwords that sounds meaningful yet often gets misused, misunderstood, or straight-up manipulated.
So let’s talk about it. Gently, but honestly.
⚠️ Disclaimer Before We Dive In
This post is not about calling anyone out personally. I’m not here to offend, attack, or discredit people who’ve been in this work longer than me. I know many are doing good work and I honour that. But I’m also not here to stay silent for the sake of “spiritual niceness.” This isn’t about ruining anyone’s rice bowl. This is about sharing my truth, my perspective, and letting it land where it’s meant to. If it resonates, great. If not, feel free to leave it.
Let’s Get Honest: What Is Holding Space?
Holding space is the ability to sit with, not fix.
To be fully present with someone else’s experience without:
🔵Needing to change it
🔵Trying to give advice
🔵Projecting your own beliefs or discomfort onto it
It’s making room for someone’s truth, even when it’s messy. It’s about presence, not performance.
What Holding Space Is Not
It’s not:
🟢Talking over someone to sound insightful
🟢Giving unsolicited advice masked as “divine downloads”
🟢Emotionally dumping your story because you relate
🟢Over-identifying to the point you make it about you
🟢Forcing someone to open up when they’re not ready
🟢Offering energy work or readings without consent
You don’t “hold space” by overpowering someone with spiritual language. You do it by staying grounded, quiet when needed, and clear in your intention.
The Real Skills Behind It
Holding space takes more than compassion. It takes:
🟠Emotional regulation
🟠Self-awareness
🟠Trauma sensitivity
🟠Clear energetic boundaries
🟠Humility
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is say nothing. Just be there. Fully. Without trying to heal, help, or change the outcome.
Holding Space Can Also Mean Saying No
Yes .. you can lovingly hold space by saying:
🔴“I don’t have capacity for this right now, but I care.”
🔴“I hear you, but I don’t feel equipped to support this. Can we revisit later?”
🔴“This might be better held with a professional. Would you like help finding one?”
You are not a bad person for having boundaries. You are not less spiritual for needing space, too.
Final Thoughts..
Holding space isn’t a role you claim. That’s a skill you build. It’s quiet. It’s deep. It’s sacred. And it’s not always comfortable.
But done well? It creates some of the safest containers for real healing to happen. The kind where people walk away feeling seen, not spiritually managed. So no, this isn’t about ego. It’s about integrity. And I hope this message reaches the ones who are ready to hold space better, not just louder.
One More Thing.. I’m Not Perfect Either
I want to be clear: I’m not writing this from a pedestal. I’ve caught myself not holding space properly too, sometimes interrupting, projecting, offering advice too quickly. I’ve learned some of these lessons the hard way.
I’m not above anyone here. But I am conscious of it. And because I take this work seriously, I don’t take it lightly when someone comes to me for support, guidance, or energetic help.
When you approach me, I don’t see that as casual. I see it as sacred. And that’s why I believe we need to be more honest about what “holding space” really means so that we can do it better, together.