How Astrology Found Me (Before I Had the Words for It)
I’ve been reading and studying astrology since I was a teenager.
Growing up in a dysfunctional and chaotic household, feeling unheard and misunderstood was my norm. And I hated that. (Chiron in Gemini, if you’re wondering - communication wounds run deep.) I was always trying to make sense of people, patterns, and pain. Why are things the way they are? Why do people act the way they do?
Back then, before Google, YouTube, or algorithm-fed content, curiosity meant heading to the library and combing through dusty bookshelves.
The resources were limited. Most books barely scratched the surface or were too abstract to grasp. But something in me refused to stop searching. I just knew.. even without the words, that there was meaning written in the stars.
Fast-Forward to My 20s: The Internet Changed Everything
In my 20s, I finally had access to the internet and with it, a whole new world of astrological knowledge opened up. I could dive deep, connect the dots, and accelerate my learning in ways that were impossible before.
But back then, astrology (and anything remotely esoteric) still carried a heavy social stigma. If you were into these things, you were seen as “ungrounded” or even a little “crazy.” So I stayed quiet. I observed. I consumed. I learned; privately.
My Saturn Return: The Awakening I Didn’t See Coming
Now in my late 30s, after everything I’ve lived through, especially the profound shake-up that came with my Saturn Return at 30. It finally feels like the pieces are falling into place.
Why didn’t I ever fit into the corporate world?
Why did I feel so mentally and emotionally drained?
Why did I keep finding myself crying alone in my room, feeling hollow, lost, like life had no meaning?
I used to spend money I didn’t really have just to take a cab home, desperate to escape the noise and fast-forward to solitude. I’d shut the world out, retreat into my room, and finally… breathe.
And as if that weren’t enough, I was juggling a full-time job and part-time degree studies; in a field I chose not out of passion, but out of pressure to stay relevant. (Marketing, if you're curious.)
For the longest time, I thought the problem was me.
That I was lazy. Overly sensitive. Not built for “real life.”
But now I understand:
I wasn’t broken.
I was just misaligned.
In 2024: I Finally Said Yes to My Calling
It wasn’t until 2024 that I found the courage and the financial means to officially invest in this lifelong passion. I enrolled in Chris Brennan’s course and took my astrology studies to the next level.
This was the leap I had always been afraid to take.
And it changed everything.
Now, I’m not just reading charts on a surface level. I’m diving into the richness of transits, the meaning of the Part of Fortune, planetary timing techniques, and more. What used to feel like fragmented knowledge has now become a living, breathing language I’m fluent in and still learning.
Finally, It All Makes Sense
This journey hasn’t just been intellectual. It’s been spiritual. Affirming. Healing.
It’s as if the Universe finally whispered: This is what you were made for.
I finally understand why I’ve walked so many detours, hit so many walls, and felt so torn between logic and intuition, structure and surrender.
With my Part of Fortune and North Node in Pisces, in the 12th House, the message is clear:
My soul thrives when I lean into the spiritual, the unseen, the intuitive, not when I force myself to fit into rigid systems.
And yet, my Aries rising, Mercury in Aries, and Capricorn 9th House planets longed for structure, certainty, and control. For a long time, I doubted myself, asking:
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Am I “qualified” enough?
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Will people take me seriously if I blend the spiritual with the grounded?
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Can I trust what I feel, even if I can’t always explain it?
But now, I know.
“You are most successful when you trust your spiritual instincts, not just logic or credentials.”
– A message from my Part of Fortune
This is the path I was always meant to evolve into.
Not one I forced but one I remembered.